No matter their economic, political, or social standing, nearly 80% of Americans report feeling stressed out. If you know that your partner has been feeling tired and burning the candle at both ends, you should offer to give them a sensual massage. Even if you don’t know how to give a massage, you can learn to give one that feels good in no time at all.
Here are 5 tips for giving your partner a memorable massage.
1. Set The Tone
Before you start your massage, you need to see the mood for how you want your partner to feel. A massage is an intimate and vulnerable place for you and your partner, so you need the atmosphere to be one where they can relax and open up. An environment that reminds them of how tense they are will make it harder for you to give a massage.
Only you can know whether or not your partner likes the theatrics. Lighting 20 candles and playing Enya might work for some partners. Others might be too busy giggling that they can’t get into a comfortable position.
If you’re going to give a massage in your living room or bedroom, you may have to clear some things out. Take all the dirty dishes out, take away anything that has to do with work or school, and put aside anything that could stress out your partner.
If you have a table to work with, make sure you’ve got adequate room to move around it. If you’re going to use your own bed, put on a special spare set of sheets, especially if you’ll be using oil for your massage.
For couples with kids, make sure the kids are already in bed, preoccupied with a movie, or are away for the weekend. You want your partner to be able to focus, which is hard when the kids are running in and out of the room.
2. Get Your Oil Ready
If you’re planning to use massage oils, you need to think a lot about scents. You know what your partner likes. Choose something that they associate with calmness like mint or lavender.
Essential oils derived from roses can help give the feeling of being at an indulgent spa far far away. You can find essential oils at most natural food shops. Ask the staff for what they think are the most relaxing scents and, if you’re comfortable, what they’d recommend for a massage oil.
Your massage oil is meant to help the mind and body relax. Scent is a powerful sense, often connected to emotions and memory. Don’t overlook the importance of scents.
Once your partner is lying down, you should warm the oil before you apply it. Applying cold oil to the skin is jarring and can take them out of the mood.
Start with a small amount in your hands and warm them together before you place your hands on your partner. Warmer oil will move more easily and give you the mobility you need to move around and massage your partner easily.
3. Pressure Matters
You need to make sure you’re always giving firm pressure when you’re giving a massage. It’s a delicate balance between relieving tension and causing pain. Listen to your partner and watch if they tense up as you squeeze their muscles.
Your pressure should be firm enough to get ahold of the muscles under the skin. If you hear an uncomfortable groan on see them squirm when you grip the muscle, ease your grip.
Check out how things are done at WINKS London for an idea on the difference between a clinical massage and a sensual one. If you’re looking for ways to spice things up, think about working a massage into this mix of possibilities.
4. Take it Slow
Since this is also about connecting with your partner, don’t make any fast or hard movements. This is more about relaxation and pleasure than anything else. A poorly given massage that doesn’t hurt or feel jarring is better than one that hits all the muscles but leaves your partner more sore than they started.
Use slow and firm strokes, to begin with. Run the edges or your hands up and down slowly to warm up the muscles. Don’t rush it, as not only will your partner feel uncomfortable, but it’s dangerous to the muscles. They need time to get warmed up.
Using your palms, place them in the shape of a butterfly and make circular motions across your partner’s back. Going up near the shoulder blades, use one hand at a time. Shoulders carry a lot of our tension, as we hunch over a workbench, laptop, or a desk all day.
If you know your partner carries around a big heavy bag all day, focus on their shoulders for maximum relief. Start off slow and build up to more firm motions. Just be sure to take your time.
5. Direction Matters
Believe it or not, people have a major preference with how you start their massage. Most people like to have the massage move from the bottom of the spine up to their shoulders and neck.
Use your thumbs to put pressure on either side of their spine. Move up slow pressing ad moving in a small circular motion. Lower the amount of pressure as you get toward the neck
Once you’re at the neck, gently place your palm down to create light pressure. Have your thumb on one side and your fingers on the other. Slowly pully your hand toward the back of the neck while your thumb and fingers press down.
This can be a tricky area, so be sure that you’re being gentle with your partner. Playing with their airways could cause them to feel uncomfortable and tense up. Don’t grab around the neck, so much as pressing the muscles and dragging them down.
Learning How To Give a Massage is Easy
If you’re aiming to learn how to give a massage that feels relaxing and makes your lover feel cared for, you don’t have to do very much. If you know that their stress is caused by real pain and soreness, you can leave that to a professional. When it comes to giving one that makes them feel pampered, you should take matters into your own hands.
If you’re hoping your massage will help build your relationship, check out these power couples for ideas on how to keep things exciting, productive, and sexy.